How to save a life:

Step one: find a screaming puppy abandoned under a car in Luquillo Beach, Puerto Rico.

Step two: call every homeless dog advocate on the island, and wait painfully, overnight for someone to get back to you. Be physically restrained by your husband from renting a cab to go to Luqillo Beach yourself and get the dog. Be brushed off the the concierge when you walk up to him, tear-stained and sniffing, to ask for phone numbers to call. Have eyes rolled at you by the rest of the family when you mention that you’re trying to save him.

Step three: finally get in touch with someone who can go find him, and try to communicate across Spanglish lines precisely where he is.

Step four: do happy dance in the lobby, complete with crying, when you get word that he is found.

Step five: Just before getting on the plane, decide to keep him. Realize that God and Karma or whatever will NOT let this plane crash with you on it now, and smile through horrendous turbulence (ok, I was smiling when I wasn’t fighting the physical to puke. It was pretty bad. But I wasn’t scared.)

Step six: text message as soon as possible that you want the dog, barring any major problems that cannot be fixed and would hamper his quality of life.

He needs spinal surgery. It’s not going to be cheap, but it’s not horrendously expensive as far as we can tell. We have to acclimate M & L to him. The might not like him. But they might if we give it time. Or maybe right away, in the same way they took to each other. His blood work came back good, no heartworm, which is huge (I just got the phone call while typing). I’ve been on the phone all morning trying to figure out his surgery and flights and things… it’s confusing but, of course, I will keep you posted.

Hopefully he’ll be in our arms by the middle of next week.

Today I hiked through a rain forest, and it was beautiful and grossly overshadowed by what happened when we stopped at the public beach. Under a municipal vehicle, abandoned, was a sato, a homeless street dog, and he was badly hurt in the hind legs. He was yelping in pain for someone to come get him; the most I could do was give him water and email and call every spca venue on the island. I pray someone will go get him… he was just a puppy, maybe a few months old. I was so sad it was physically painful. Leaving him was absolutely horrendous. I was assured by many people, though, that he would probably be picked up. I wish I knew for sure.

I’m hoping Save a Sato will come through; they are the organization that rescued Leeloo.

I’m really ready to go home.

I have a tan! Finally! I broke all the rules I have about sun safety and spent the day in my bathing suit by the pool, zero sunscreen, tanning my very pasty middle. My arms and shoulders are a gorgeous golden brown, and my lower legs look great, but my thighs and torso were still winter pale.

Unfortunately, I’m chubby, and when I sat with my back to the sun, my love handles didn’t tan in the middle, so now, when I stand up straight and love handle-less, you can see my chub lines. It’s highly unattractive and really funny. But other than that, my tan is pretty good.

I know, I’m really boring.

Tomorrow we’re going to the rain forest, which I’m not really that excited about. I’m in no mood for excursions; I want to sleep and bask in the few days of sun I have left before I return to what is apparently all cold, miserable rain in Connecticut. I’ll be a good sport about it, though; Rob is really excited.

I really miss M & L.

Nose, burned. Shoulders, tanned. Rest of me? Still pasty. I don’t understand how that happened.

A few days ago, Rob showed me the They Might Be Giants podcast for kids. They feature a kid’s song each week, and the podcast is to promote their upcoming kids album. We watched the episode below, and haven’t been able to stop singing it since.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca_5BnBB170&rel=1]

Merry Christmas.

“We’re sleeping”, when told to Rob’s parents, means one of two things: we have “digestive issues” and are terrified to go more than ten feet away from the bathroom, or we’re doing it.

There has been way too much of the first and not nearly enough of the second in comparison. I don’t know if it’s the traveling, the food (I’m really trying to eat well) or the Bacardi-fueled sun/ocean/pool/hot tub/pool/hot tub/pool thing we have going on, but I am not so much with the feeling well.

Oh, I’m sorry, were you eating?

I’m actually kinda bored. The beach is unbelievably beautiful, and it’s wonderfully warm, but there’s only so much laying around I can do before I’m restless. Playing in the ocean is cool, though; I haven’t done that in years. I got knocked around a few times before I learned to move with the waves, and body surf. I had my bikini top wrenched off of my body at one point, and had to retie it with one hand while I tried unsuccessfully to keep myself modest with the other. Saturday, I ended up stopping at a store in Long Island to grab some suits before we left. My mother-in-law realized where I was going and offered to come with me. I declined. She’s nice and all, but I’m pretty sure there’s a special ring of hell where you have to eternally shop for bathing suits with your mother-in-law. I have more swimsuits now that I have owned in the past decade. I had stopped wearing them all together because of the chubby on my bod, but I don’t really care that much any more. I’ll loose weight eventually, but in the meantime I’m not going to not have fun (although I still won’t run around in my bathing suit in front of my in-laws. Because ew. Rob doesn’t get it and thinks I’m stuck up about it, but seriously? There are things they just don’t need to see).

We’re an hour ahead of NY time, meaning I get Christmas an hour before I usually would have! I’m excited to go swimming on Christmas (and my brother and sister in law are coming down to join us tomorrow evening, which rocks).

I leave you with this picture, which illustrates my nearly constant state: no makeup, no hair product (I’m pointing at the ‘fro-y-ness), and a bracelet that allows me on the beach. I’m so fashionable.

We arrived safely, the room has an OCEAN VIEW, and the hotel has free wi-fi! Weeeeeeeee!

Also, Blogger is in Spanish. I think I almost deleted my blog because I can’t read what I’m clicking on. Yipes!

It’s 83 degrees and sunny (or, it was this afternoon). I went swimming. I’m exhausted and I need sleep.

Oh! I saw a lizard. Y una gato, (and a cat) just wandering around.

I keep trying to speak Spanish. It doesn’t work that well. I’m making Rob crazy.

In the wonderful event that I have internet access where I’m going, you’ll hear from me. If not, have a wonderful holiday. It looks like, for the first time in years, it’s going to be a white Christmas here in Connecticut. I’m almost sorry I’m missing it.

Almost.

You have your white Christmas, and everyone take pictures for me… I’m going with the Felize Navidad, in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Hasta la vista!

Hi, Blog.

Ok. Updateing time.

Bathing suits. Normally my problem with bathing suits has to do with my boobs and hips being too voluptuous. My problem right NOW is that they’re not even here! I ordered them on December 7, figuring they’d arrive with plenty of time for my vacation. No dice. So I have to trek into Manhattan the Saturday before Christmas and go swimsuit shopping, because unlike the rest of the world, I can’t just walk into a store and grab a bathing suit that fits me. The girls, the hips… there’s just a lot of stuff going in all sorts of directions and things that need to get lifted, and nipped in and held down… it’s complicated. Very complicated, and jiggly, and disheartening. I’d really rather shop online, but, alas! I must subject myself to trying on bathing suits in a dressing room, and probably will have to fend off “helpful” shop keepers.

I had lunch with G to day; sushi. She’s a pro, and I let her order me all sorts of things. The coolest part was when she asked the chef if he had any fins around. Most people don’t eat the fins of the salmon, so they are disposed of, but those “in the know” take them, flash fry them in tempura batter, and eat them hot. Since she is a regular where we went, the chef prepared them for us as a treat. We ate them with our hands like little kids, while the other customers got jealous. It reminded me of the Little House on the Prairie books where Mary and Laura got the pig’s tail after Pa slaughtered the hog. (Shut UP! Those books are good!)

We had a couple of bottles of carbonated sake, which was wonderful, and stronger than I thought… we went to Old Navy after and I shopped in a fog, even though I wasn’t drunk. I bought $130 worth of stuff that I don’t even remember, and ended up losing the sweater that I walked in with! (Hey, I walked out in new, on-sale cashmere… it wasn’t a bad trade).

I don’t have time for my poor, neglected blog, so I’m posting a picture from my wedding of Jen and me getting ready. It makes me happy.

There will be no skinny babies in this family.