In years past I’ve had a whole-hearted go at keeping kosher for Passover. I did it because Rob did, and I liked the idea of Jews all around the world doing the exact same thing together, just as they have for thousands of years. I’m not a fan of religion or symbolism, but I viewed this as more of a traditional thing, you know I love tradition*.
After thinking, though, and researching, I now see it more as a symbol of a religious commitment, and that changes things. It’s just taken so SERIOUSLY, and with a fervor that makes this decidedly un-religious lady really uncomfortable. I can get behind the spirit of keeping kosher for Passover for the sake of tradition (which for me would mean no bread, no cookies or cakes, etc.) but when the actual practice comes into play: inspecting labels for corn or peanuts, not eating peas or rice, making sure things with yeast don’t touch things that are k4P (even wrapped things), and a whole host of complicated, mind-numbing rules to remember**, and all in the name of keeping the big guy in the sky happy… that? I can’t get behind that.
In the Protestant branch of Christianity I was raised in, the concept of “the spirit of things” is a huge theme. In other words, if you felt that what you are doing in the eyes of God was alright, you were fine, even if other Christians didn’t agree. Protestant Christians are generally discouraged from looking down on one another for having different levels of observance, particularly in smaller matters. This is not true in what I’ve seen of Judaism, which bypasses the heart of the believer in favor of rules made up by an outside source.
All religions do this to some extent of course, and, of course, there are Jews who DO bend the rules to suit them and still consider themselves faithful. But this is not generally so (for instance, there is an enormous amount of criticism on President Obama’s White House Seder, which is being picked apart by several Jewish blogs I read).
Many find freedom in the bounds of religion. When I was told growing up I would “find freedom in Jesus”, though I never got how, exactly; the opposite always seemed so much truer. I am stunned when I see a Muslim woman wrapped head to toe as she walks about, with a peace in her eyes (the only part of her anyone can see) and a great deal of obvious affection for her husband. I just don’t get it. I respect it, I understand it intellectually, but I don’t get it.
The bottom line is, I’ve decided to skip keeping Kosher for Passover this year. I’m making k4P meals and treats for Rob, who feels differently than I do. As his wife and dearest friend, I want to help him do what he feels is important to the best of his ability, but I can’t participate anymore myself.
*I still love the Seder and festive meal (and hunting for the Afikoman)
**I can fully admit that, having been raised non-Jewish it is probably particularly difficult for me to do these things.
I was once married to a Jewish man, and yes- keeping kosher for Passover is a lot of work. (However, that is NOT why we are no longer married- so don’t worry about that.)
How weird. I was also raised in a Protestant church, and am also not religious. Coincidence? Yeah probably.
Mary
14 Apr 09 at 12:21 am
i am right there with you! i HATE keeping kosher for passover, but LOVE the tradition of the sedar. lately, my family has not been able to last the whole week of passover without sneaking in some bread… in fact, this year, i have not really been keeping it at all. personally, i think my having visited egypt was sort of my way of celebrating the holiday! oh! and the whole corn thing, if you decide to be sephardic you can eat it! (needless to say, every year we are sephardic!)
rachel cooper
14 Apr 09 at 9:55 am
Knowing that I’m running the risk of sounding like a freak of nature to all, I want to say something…because I can’t not.
I know what it means to have freedom in Christ. I also know it’s a difficult concept for anyone who doesn’t know what it means.
Back when all of these rules were given to the people of Israel (way back at the beginning with Moses), they really did not have a very good concept of who God was. All they really knew is what was told to them and what they saw Him do. If He gave rules, they were going to follow them because if they didn’t, it more than certainly meant death. He had to show them the depth of His holiness before He could show His love and compassion for them. This was the point of Jesus (and this is also where all Jewish people probably stop reading, but it’s cool).
Jesus came to show the Jewish people that their God loved them enough to make it so that they no longer had to rely on their own strength and power for their salvation. He came to offer what no other god in history ever did – Himself in place of them. Some embraced Him. Others did not but that’s no different from all people today.
We like to rely on ourselves to get us what we need. Why should we depend on something or someone else when we can depend on ourselves? The problem with many religions today is that the same policy is adopted. Why rely on a God who says He’ll save us, if I can do enough to save myself? The problem is that we can’t, and the Jewish people in the Bible knew this better than anyone. The list of rules is long. Read Leviticus. It’s all there. They knew that they would screw things up sometimes. And then what do we do? They would sacrifice but that’s a whole other list of rules.
This is where the freedom in Christ comes in. Knowing that by coming to earth and dying and living again for me, He has taken on all of the wrong that I have ever and could ever do, it gives me freedom to not have to live under all the restrictions that have been set in the past and that I would naturally put on myself to follow and serve a holy God. I don’t have to break my back to do everything right. Once I realize that, I choose to do what I know He wants from me, but I can do it in joy because I know one false step doesn’t equal doom. In fact, a hundred false steps doesn’t equal doom. It equals mercy that is undeniable that forgives and lets me start again.
That’s what freedom in Christ means.
I don’t know if it means anything to you, but it changes the way I live my life and I couldn’t not say something. Sorry if I was preachy.
Jen
14 Apr 09 at 10:13 am
Oh, Jen, don’t apologize! I appreciate your perspective so much!
theambershow
14 Apr 09 at 10:53 am
I wanted to comment on tradition and such, but then Jen went all serious, and how do I follow that?
I’ll do it anyways.
I don’t believe in doing things that you don’t believe in. Even if I break this personal rule often, I think it is important to not go crazy trying to live up to something that you can’t get behind. Wear a head covering – if you believe there is a reson to do so. If keeping Kosher is important for religious or tradition reasons – do it. If you can’t get behind having to analyze the labels on all your food products for 8 days but want the tradition of the Seder and maybe choose not eat funfetti and cookies for a week, do it. This can be challenging in interfaith marriages (which yours is to an extent) and various backgrounds: finding what traditions you can embrace together and what new versions need to be made. Or: let him eat kosher and come to my apartment for pizza,beer, and cupcakes.
Stu!
14 Apr 09 at 1:33 pm
I feel the need to say something about the traditions I keep. They are traditions to me, not rules.
When I was younger, it wasn’t an issue because my parents would take care of converting the house. I could eat anything I wanted because the entire house was filled with food that was kosher for passover. Now that we have our own house, I’m not going to change our dishes or silverware because I frankly think that doing so is a little crazy.
I will keep my diet kosher for the approximate 8 days of Passover because I have always done so. It doesn’t bring me closer to an old man in the sky who allegedly made life difficult for a whole lot of egyptians a long, long time ago. Changing my diet for these eight days allows me to feel a cultural connection to hundreds of generations of other Jews who did the same.
I’m forced to look at labels of food because Richard Nixon attempted to restart the US’ farm economy and decided that corn would be what we as a country produces. Corn syrup is in everything, and it’s inconvenient for these eight days to not be able to grab whatever I want off the shelf, but it’s a small price to pay to be able to have a connection to the generations of Jews who came before me.
On Yom Kippur, I fast. Not because I want to atone for my sins, but because it’s a reminder that I’m a part of a culture that has had an enemy in nearly every generation that has sworn to make this generation the last. It sucks to not eat for 24 hours, but it would suck more to me if I didn’t acknowledge the millions of Jews who have been slaughtered over the years; it would hurt my heart. I spend 0.3% of my year in slight discomfort to reflect back on the millions of people who lost their lives because of who their mothers were.
Rob Blatt
14 Apr 09 at 5:46 pm