Are you going to BlogHer? I am!
I haven’t thought a ton about it until yesterday, though, when Pam posted something on her blog talking about how there was some “What are you wearing?” chatter on Twitter. My first thought was, “OH MY GOSH! What AM I going to wear?!” All my summer clothes are in the slightly grungy and mis-matched camp, and a LOT of my prettier dresses are too big (yay!) and need be replaced (boo!)
Pam wasn’t having a fun What-To-Wear conversation though, she was talking about the OTHER women, the women who are making fun of the fashion talkers. There’s a whole slew of attendees who can’t STAND the “girlishness” that surrounds the event. The arguments I’ve heard usually boil down into something like: “MEN going to a blogging conference wouldn’t be chatting about what shoes they’re packing, so why are WE?” and “We aren’t going to get DRESSED UP, we are going to LEARN and NETWORK so shut UP about your CLOTHES!”
And I sigh, because this is the part of blogging I can’t stand – the catty part.
I know that all of us want to Take Our Blogs Seriously and that we all want to be viewed as Professional and not fashion-obsessed “lady bloggers gone wild” at a convention. But for lot of us, we DON’T do these sorts of things but once or twice a year, and it can be nerve-wracking to think about your clothes (and also fun!) I don’t see anything unprofessional about wanting to look your best and asking for feedback and help from your community in putting your best face forward. That’s why most of us are blogging in the first place anyway, right?
Also, Twitter and Facebook are there for people to use however they’d like; neither you nor I have any business commenting on someone else’s use of it, even if you think it’s, like, OMG THE MOST UNPROFESSIONAL THING EVER. Because you know what’s even MORE unprofessional than squealing about shoes? Being a bitch.
Haters.
I’m glad I don’t know these people. I’m pretty sure they won’t like me or my closet. =)
G.
19 Jul 10 at 12:04 pm
“Because you know what’s even MORE unprofessional than squealing about shoes? Being a bitch.”
WORD.
This will be my third BlogHer, and I will roll how I roll every year – COMFORTABLY. For me, that means jeans, tshirts and shoes that don’t give me blisters. Since I’m already paying for a hotel and tickets, it also means I’m not buying one damn new thing for what amounts to a 2-day whirlwind of HEY I KNOW YOU!
But I don’t begrudge anyone for wanting to talk about their shoes, clothes, etc. for this event. For many, that is part of the excitement. It doesn’t necessarily need to detract from the event itself, or somehow shuttle us into an unseen realm of anti-feminism.
Danielle
19 Jul 10 at 7:26 pm
Last year I remember tweeting at one point. “What? Blogging/Tweeting about our thoughts and feelings? What made you think it was for *that*?”
Because seriously. I have one word for people who don’t like that I sometimes tweet about shoes. Or So You Think You Can Dace. Or social media. Or music. Or whatever.
Unfollow. Unfriend. Unfan.
Just don’t talk to me about signal and noise, because nowhere in your life do you control the noise more than online.
And thanks for letting me share
Elisa Camahort Page
19 Jul 10 at 11:21 pm
Love the last remark.
Jessica
20 Jul 10 at 1:26 pm
I knew I loved you.
Thanks. It’s disheartening to see this kind of behavior in grown women.
And that last line of yours? Get that shit on a tshirt immediately.
xo
Also? You have the BEST Captchas ever.
Pammer
20 Jul 10 at 1:30 pm
This is one of the biggest reasons I haven’t attended this particular conference. I am not that type of girl. I never will be. And the whole thing leaves me feeling kind of hopeless for some of the women I usually consider to be intelligent and secure. I know this might land me in some hot water for admitting online, but I feel a little embarrassed for the folks who do this.
Every year Twitter lights up with talk about shoes and what outfits people will wear, etc. And it makes me feel kind of gross. I just don’t understand it.
Flipside: I also follow a bunch of my husband’s people (developers and programmers, some of which are female) on Twitter and whenever WWDC rolls around, they are NOT talking about what they’re going to wear. EVER. They discuss the event. They start talking in code, literally (not that I understand any of THAT either!) It’s a breath of fresh air.
To this day, it should be said that I still have no idea what goes on at BlogHer. I do know what takes place at WWDC. That’s not the fault of BlogHer, but it should say something. What I’ve gathered from now actually attending the event is that it’s a lot about whose party you’re going to and what you will wear to said party. I still haven’t the slightest clue what kind of talks take place.
Perhaps I should A). Go or B). follow more people who don’t post about shoes and hangovers?
I don’t know.
(And now I shall post this and possibly get slammed. Go easy on me ladies. I’m not good at this.)
mihow
20 Jul 10 at 1:33 pm
“now actually attending the event” SHOULD READ “not actually attending the event”
Ugh.
mihow
20 Jul 10 at 1:34 pm
I go to BlogHer because I have so much fun it’s ridiculous and I have made some of the best friends and colleagues I’ve ever had by being involved as a writer and photographer and fellow wine-drinker.
I don’t look to the site, the conference or any particular person or group involved to meet my every need. I always say it’s like 500 mini-conferences in one and I’m not sure why people get so riled. It’s enough to make me go off of the Twitter for a few weeks.
Good post. Have fun.
Laurie
20 Jul 10 at 1:35 pm
I love it! You are so right!!!
Stacie @ The Divine Miss Mommy
20 Jul 10 at 1:49 pm
I did BlogHer light last year in Chicago. I got so turned off by the behavior of the women there that I lost all interest of attending one again. It’s amazing that even something as simple as SWAG can turn some ladies into self-righteous bitches.
Rachel
20 Jul 10 at 1:57 pm
BlogHer won’t even acknowledge my presence OR my blog. So what use do I have for a convention in which I apparently don’t belong? Answer: none. All the chatter annoys me a bit, but I have the ultimate right to delete or ignore. So… meh. But I love talking about shoes!
Mel
20 Jul 10 at 2:14 pm
Word.
Do you think it’s feminist to believe that women going to a big conference should act like men going to a big conference? Cuz guess what…it’s not. Men and women are different. I happen to know a few men (granted, not many) who do talk about and care about what they are going to wear to the huge conventions I go to every year. No, they aren’t gay either…making a good impression on people you’ve never met before is important.
And fashion is not just “girl-talk”. It’s a form of art. Just because you happen to enjoy fashion does not make you 1. stupid 2. girly 3. not serious.
Also, not all women who worry about what they’re going to wear brag about their hangovers either.
Conventions are not just about what you learn at the panels…although that’s important. It’s about the WHO. That is not just true of BlogHer, it’s true of all conventions, in all industries…I’ve been to a lot of them.
Ugh…I could go on forever, I will get off my soapbox now.
MainlineMom
20 Jul 10 at 2:36 pm
Mainline Mom: I’m assuming you’re directing your response to me based on a few of the things you said.
I never said everyone who likes fashion was stupid, girly or not serious. And I never said that all women who worry about their shoes brag about their hangovers. I also never said women should act more like men or that men never talk about their attire. Actually, I’m not even sure what it is I’m responding to here. While you loosely brought up a few things I may have alluded to, you’re making very sweeping statements about it all, stuff no one in his or her right mind would agree to. Even me.
What I did say is that I am still not sure what people learn or take away from BlogHer. I know very little about the panels themselves with this particular event because it just so happens that most of the folks I hear from when that takes place are people that tweet about things like what Amber wrote about and NOT what they’re learning. If it’s not about fashion, it’s about swag. And then on terrible years, there have been HUGE dramas associated with the even. Fights break out. It’s weird. For an outsider, it’s weird. The point I was (maybe poorly?) trying to make was that after all these years, I still have no idea what goes on at the actual event. I hear about the parties, I see the photos. I hear about the shoes, the swag, the sponsors.
On the flipside, I DO have an idea about what happens at WWCD, Mom 2.0 Summit, Evo etc. This is specific to BlogHer. It has NOTHING to do with all women or all events. BlogHer.
Again: I’m an outsider here. So who cares? I am not losing sleep over this. I can assure you. I just had to explain what it is I was trying to say. My point is valid, might not be popular, but it’s valid.
mihow
20 Jul 10 at 3:01 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amber Marlow Blatt, Pammer. Pammer said: YES. THIS. RT @theAmberShow: BlogHer: the Catty Comments Begin – ladies, can we be nice to each other? Please? #blogher http://bit.ly/9Fck4Y [...]
Tweets that mention BlogHer: the Catty Comments Begin at The Amber Show -- Topsy.com
20 Jul 10 at 3:51 pm