This post is a follow-up to my quest for a new middle name. If you missed the first part where I asked readers to suggest a middle name for me, you can read it here.
I finally have a new middle name.
The dandelion logo for this blog is a nod to two things: 1. my fluffy hair! and 2. the concept of wishing, of hope for better. I’m always excited to move onward and upward, in fact, I bought this “onward & upward” print in 2009 and described the sentiment as “an integral part of my thought process”. It hangs in my kitchen.
Right now I’m tired and a little lost, but I think everything is going to be ok.
The word “hope” was printed in the Times a few weeks ago, and it leaped off the page at me. I gasped, and the entire coffee shop looked up, curious.
Later I wondered why I didn’t see it earlier, and realized I couldn’t see it earlier, even when a reader named Patrice actually suggested it in the comments section of my middle name post. Everything was too raw then, but now it is not, and it was obvious in that moment that my middle name is Hope.
Because of course it is.
When I told Jen, she emailed me back a photo of a little craft she had made a few weeks prior, a tiny piece of paper painted in various blues with hope written on it.
A literary-minded friend quoted Emily Dickinson at me: “Hope is the thing with feathers”, and when it clicked for me that there is a feather tattooed on my foot, I went all goosebumpy.
I’m going to keep my middle name more to myself and simply use Amber Marlow for the world at large because I like the way it sounds, and professionally it’s how I’m known, but my friends and family will know it, and you all know it, and this makes me happy.
A tiny part of me will always be sad that I didn’t go with George.