life list

Life List: Officiate a Wedding Ceremony – Check!

“Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam…”

After listening to these two wistfully talk about getting married next year, and seeing how badly they wanted to be married RIGHT NOW, I shrugged and said, “Guys, just elope. I’ll even take the photos for you. No big deal.”

They sat on that for a few weeks, then she called me and said, “Ok, we’re eloping. We want you to do it.”

“Take the photos?” I asked. “You got it.”

“No, marry us. It’s on your Life List, right?”

So it is. I’ve never been more honored.

I got ordained by the Universal Life Church, then went to City Hall to fill out some paperwork, and now the power is vested in me by the City of New York to legally wed people to each other.

They’d wanted to get married under the cherry trees in the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, but the blooms had vanished by their wedding day. I picked a spot under an oak tree instead. Cherry blossoms bloom and die quickly, but oak trees can live for hundreds of years, and I thought this was fitting for a wedding.

The ceremony was short and sweet; we’d written it together over beers at our favorite bar a few weeks prior, and then we took a few photos around the grounds and slipped out.

(Sidenote: you are supposed to pay $400 and obtain a permit to take wedding photos in the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, something we did not do, so consider this a bit of a disclaimer. We went guerrilla.)

Who’s next?! You can pay me in a six pack, because I am classy.

I love these guys!

p.s. Vanity dictates I tell you I was wearing super awesome heels, but slipped on my espadrilles to walk to the flower bed and totally forgot to put my them back on for portraits. But trust me: super awesome. You can see them in the “getting married” photo. Someone asked me if I was going to  perform the ceremony “barefoot in the park”, and I killed them dead with my withering stare.

p.p.s. If you want your feelings hurt: she’s 23, but he is 21, meaning he was born in the 90’s. PEOPLE WHO WERE BORN IN THE 90’S ARE GETTING MARRIED.


  1. KK

    7 June 2012 at 12:41 am

    Wow! I never expected to come to your blog and see that you just married a friend of mine. It looks like it was beautiful!

  2. Meg

    7 June 2012 at 4:03 pm


  3. Shaelyn

    7 June 2012 at 8:00 pm

    Aww, I met them at the APW book signing in Brooklyn over the winter. They were so, so nice! I am super happy for them (and for you, for checking something off your life list!). Congratulations to all!

  4. Jennifer K.

    12 June 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Dudette, you’re living your life! This is soooooooo kewl. I almost can’t take it. You officiated a wedding, a real union between two folks? THAT’S HUGE! While life lists and bucket lists have annoyed me for years now, seeing you with your orange tree and now this makes me wanna reconsider. You have a delicious life.

  5. jon.C

    22 June 2012 at 10:33 pm

    One, you are incredible. Two, I am actually 22 (January baby in the house!). Three, Who the fck is KK????!

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