I think its an amazing idea. My mother in law kept her married name 20+ years after her divorce but changed it back to her maiden name in her 50s. It will feel good to have a name of your – or a reader’s – choosing every time you have to use it. I got married pretty young and kept my name, I thought it was so weird to change it at the time. 11 years and a kid later I occasionally regret having a different name than my son when I’m filling out a form but I could never imagine not being Bari K anymore. Go get yourself a name you are proud of

Amber She-Ra Marlow. Done.

Ha! This made me snort aloud! Today you have made me laugh and cry – today’s blog post from you was amazing.

Show.

I’m terrible at picking names, so if you were to ask me I’d probably say something like Amber Fucking Marlow, and well.. that’s probably too reminiscent of Amanda Fucking Palmer. Plus, they probably wouldn’t let you change it to that anyway.

However… I find myself pondering similar lines. Matt and I two years ago at the end of August, but we’re still legally married (mostly due to the fact that we’re both paperwork adverse and it’s become the usual pissing match of “who’s going to make the first move, I can totally outwait you” which come to think of it, is kinda stupid when it comes to the ending a marriage that neither of us want to be in anymore because we’ve moved on and don’t even live in the same state anymore.

At any rate… I’m totally flummoxed as to what to do with my last name once we do get that divorce finalized. Doing all the paperwork to change it back sounds like a pain in the butt, especially since I was never particularly attached to my maiden name in the first place… but I feel weird keeping the last name of someone whom I’m no longer with either.

When I wrote “Amanda effing Palmer” yesterday for Monday Music, I had no idea that she occasionally uses the name Amanda Fucking Palmer to!

You should seize the opportunity to make your name be whatever you want.

i like “resurgam.” that’s not pretty enough for you, but i like the meaning of it (i shall rise again). the best actual middle name i ever heard was “danger.”

I like Infinity.

Did you have a name you pretended was yours when you were a kid? I went through a lengthy period of wanting to be Cassandra. This would be a good time to really get to be that name you always wanted.

A name I pretended was mine as a kid? Oh yeah. But I don’t think I want to be Amber Zelda Marlow.

I’d be tempted to either: A)Not have one, or B) Just have a middle initial, like Ulysses S Grant. I have a few friends who just have a middle initial, and it’s kind of cool.

I say no middle name. Unnecessary, and Amber Marlow just sounds amazing as-is. Or the initial idea is good, just go with a good acronym!

I think the idea of just an initial is pretty cool! But, no middle name is totally legit as well. A lot people find theirs embarrassing and/or dumb (me) anyway, so if it doesn’t mean enough to you to pick one out at all, maybe just drop it?

Another suggestion – I had two great uncles named Orange. I’ve always wanted to curse a child of mine with that as their middle name, since it’s technically a “family name.” Amber Orange Marlow?

I adore this, for a few reasons. Orange is my favorite color. It’s so sunny and bright and sweet. And the word “orange” was my first victory. I remember figuring it out when I was four, and it was my first “difficult” word I was able to sound out. It’s my favorite memory from being little. And “O” is beautiful.

I really liked what we talked about in your car. Your Grandma’s name. I think she is special to you and has helped you heal before, maybe keeping her close would be a good thing.

This is such a great idea! I changed my name several years ago too and toyed with the idea of giving myself a middle name but didn’t. I regret it now but I don’t want to pay to have it all done again. If I had, I’d middle name myself Jack, which is my Starbucks/takeout/fake name I give out all the time because “Aldo” is apparently too hard to spell.

i like Marlow SO much better than Blatt, even without the backstory.

i’m sentimental about names, so i say pick a name of a woman – or man, whatever – in your family line or circle who loved you well, along the way. especially if they’re gone now. take the name and you take that love inside of yourself, symbolically, at a time when maybe you need the reminder.

I will be legally changing my name at the end of my divorce. The entire time I’ve been separated from my ex, I have done little more than scrawl his last name onto credit card slips and legal documents. It does, in fact, bruise one’s soul to continue to have to answer to a name that they detest/are hurt by being reminded of.

I kept my middle name and added my ex’s surname, so I plan to go back to my full given name at birth. You didn’t mention if you had a middle name before marriage, but I really like the idea of going with a significant name.. a family name maybe, that you want to carry on, or sounds particularly distinguished, or that will give you the chance to honor someone.

It’s nice to meet you, I think this is my first visit to your blog!

Welcome, and thank you! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels “bruised” – it’s been brutal having to sign up for new accounts with what is now my legal name, knowing I’ll just have to change it later… ugh. What a mess. I feel less alone knowing it’s the same for you, too. I was feeling over-dramatic, and for someone as buttoned up as me, that’s the worst.

Your comment means a lot to me.

Amber Awesome Marlowe. Or maybe switch it around to Awesome Amber Marlowe, and then just go by A. Amber Marlowe.

Either way, you’re pretty Awesome.

I was going to say Awesome too. Amber Awesome Marlow. Or Fabulous. Amber Fabulous Marlow.

I think you can’t go wrong with the name of someone who totally inspires you, someone who, everytime you see their name in your name, is going to make you feel braver, more empowered, more fierce.
But man, you could just pick your favorite letter and be a mystery in the middle. Do you love V? Amber V. Marlow sounds pretty good.
Embrace the ability to reinvent, to reimagine, to re-new your life.
Good luck, Amber.

First, I guess I have to admit that I’m a names traditionalist. Our kids will have good solid old fashioned names (I mean, I’m a Margaret for goodness sakes, and I think you know the story there? If not, we’ll discuss offline, it pertains). So. I’m not going to suggest Awesome or Danger or anything, because I think it should be solid and trustworthy and stand the test of time.

I will say that Elizabeth keeps popping into my head over and over, and I don’t know why, but it has the spirit of the thing. Solid. You need solid right now.

But my real advice is pick a name of someone who means something to you (this is how I feel about kid names too. If you pick a name that means something, even if you change your mind about how much you love the name, it still will mean something). It could be a book character, but I suggest a real person. Your grandmother’s name or middle name might be a great place to start, indeed. Because middle names are like secrets (unless you use it like I do, and then I guess first names are like secrets). Which makes them great places to store things we need to have with us for always, but are not the worlds business.

Freedom. Hope. George.

But I also love the idea of using your grandmothers name. My grandmother was such an inspiration to me that I named my first born after her. Lillian. And I’m so proud of that name.

George! That’s brilliant!

Amber Marlow is such a dead sexy name that it’s good you are putting thought into the middle name. How can you improve upon near perfection? I like the idea of using your grandmother’s name too, or someone else who inspires you. I still like fabulous though. ;-P

I have two middle names, one from each grandmother, and I love the connection that they give me to these women who were hugely influential in my life but are no longer here.

That said, the other thing I’m into is name meanings, and I’d say look at some from the perspective. Valencia = brave, strong. Amber V. Marlow sounds pretty great.

Farren (pr Fare-en) is the last name of an English 18th century actress and also means adventurous. Amber Ferren Marlow.

Saiorse (seer-sha) means freedom in Gaelic. Amber Saiorse Marlow sounds good to me.

How about Jay? Then you can be Amber J. Marlow, and when people ask what the J stands for, you can be like, “Jay.” And then they’ll either get confused or be like, “Oh, like Homer Simpson.”

whatever the name it will be uniquely you- a person of adventure and spirit i have never forgotten.

I’ve been trying to come up with the perfect name to suggest, but nothing seems “Amber” enough. Whatever you choose, it needs to capture your courage, your sense of adventure, and your all-around badass-ness.

Brooklyn

I like Amber V. Marlow too… but I’ve always liked the name Eve as well. Amber Eve Marlow? Whatever you choose, I’m happy for you–you’ve been very brave throughout all of this. You’re an inspiration, Amber!

I like Eve! She’s the first woman who thought for herself. Ahem.

I lol’d so hard at “Show.” That’s damn brilliant.

I don’t really have suggestions; I never would have pegged you as a “Marlow” (I don’t think anyone can be pegged as a Marlow to be fair) but that totally fits you, so I have faith that no matter what the intertubes suggest, it’ll all work out in the end.

…yeah, I went there.

I love the idea of picking a middle name, but I haven’t found anything better than what’s already been posted.

Isn’t Valencia a type of Orange? best of both worlds…

I’m just an anonymous blog reader — love your blog! — but my choice would be Phoenix. It flows well, Amber Phoenix Marlow, it has the symbolic “rise again”/rebirth meaning like the Liz above suggested, it has stood the test of tradition and time like the Meg above suggested (at least in my cultural background, it has weathered well as a name). Whatever you decide, good luck in this transition period. You seem to be handling it with grace and strength.

So weird to actually make a comment on your blog
Anyway, I think you should pick some that inspires you to be the person you want to be. I have always believed in the power of words. I think you could pick something to say who you are, but you will always change, so picking something about who you want to be would always be there to encourage you. When we had the privilege of picking our children’s names ie awful fear we would screw them up, we picked a name that would inspire the people we hope they become.
Or you could always go with Leigh. I adore my middle name, the way it sounds, the way it’s spelled… and sometimes I wish my first name was really Amberleigh. But then again I always wanted to drop the De in my last name and be Amber Gray (sooo cool!). Good luck, it’s an awesome opportunity to choose your name.