I wrote a response to a Jezebel article on my professional blog, and am cross-posting it here. The use of the term “muff” on my pro blog was a hot debate in my own head for a solid hour, but I left it there. I know what kind of clients I want.

I was excited to read to this article on boudoir photography on Jezebel, written by Doug Barry.

“Hey!” I said, “they’re talking about boudoir photography. I do that!”

But then I got mad.

The overall tone of the article is grossly shaming, and implies that silly women are getting boudoir shoots done for a whole list of silly reasons.

“A lot of women do boudoir because they’re afraid their fiancés are looking at porn,” … “and they’d rather them be looking at her.”

What?! A pornographic video and a smokin’ hot photo of the woman you love are NOT the same thing. They are not even close to being the same thing. Not much needs to be said about what porn is. We all know what it’s for and how most of us use it. But I’ll talk about what a boudoir shot is: it’s a celebration of beauty, sexiness and sexuality, and a whole lot of fun. It’s empowering, and brave. It can take some of it’s cues, even a LOT of it’s cues, from a hardcore porn shoot, but the purpose is not the same, and the purpose is everything. Everything.

“Some women get more undressed than others —photographs range from “tasteful” lingerie shots to pornier pictures.”

Ugh. Another inaccurate reference to porn, and this time he gets even more insulting by deeming lingerie as “tasteful”. Ok, Doug, so as long as my clients are covered up, they have taste? When does it become “less tasteful”, and by whose yardstick are we measuring taste, anyway? Because from where I’m standing, a gal could wrap herself ankle to chin in a bed sheet or thrust her naked muff at my camera, and both of those are just fine. To me, it’s all a celebration of being sexy as all get out, and that will never, ever be distasteful. (The phrase you were looking for, you oaf, is “covered-up” – I even wouldn’t have taken much issue if you had chosen “modest”.)

The worst part of this article is the overall assumption that boudoir shoots are just for hetero ladies to give to their hetero menfolk. Not true. First, I’ve done boudoir shoots for lesbians, for gentlemen, and for ladies who are glowing and bursting at the seams with soon-to-be-born baby. And of course hetero ladies with engagement rings, too. They’re all worthy, and they’re all sexy. Second, you don’t do a boudoir shoot for someone, you do it for you. Even if the resulting photos are bound in a book and presented as a gift to a lover, even if you did slink around in his favorite hockey jersey, the benefit of the goodness of the photo shoot falls directly to the person who posed, because she (or he) did something bold that made them look and feel amazing.

There is nothing – NOTHING – shameful about that.