Fuck.

I’ve been composing this in some form since October, and every time I’ve sat to write this, knots formed in my stomach. Can you blame me? This year was one of the most stretching, agonizing years ever for me, and going over it again stings in places. Still, there were some amazing moments, too – moments that make me say, “If I had to live through THAT to get HERE, I would do it all over again” which, frankly, is a shocking, wonderful place to find myself this New Years Eve. Here goes:

I learned a great deal about what love will overcome and what it won’t. There were things in each category that surprised me.

It is totally possible to pee your pants as a sober adult. OH MY GOSH! This is the most embarrassing thing that happened to me this year (but, I’m a blogger, so of course I wrote about it for the entire internet to read.)

Pro tip: Not everyone needs to look directly at the camera to create a beautiful portrait.

The commonly accepted formula of “half a bottle of wine per person” when throwing a party is BULL. Or maybe my friends are just more fun.

There is no such thing (for me, anyway) as “working up the nerve” to do something scary – scary things just need to be done. Examples: ending a marriage, jumping off a cliff, saying yes to new opportunities, riski[ng] it [all] on one turn of pitch-and-toss.

The internet is excellent for crowd sourcing a new middle name.

Yoga rocks.

The saying is true: people don’t change just because you would like them to. Yes, it took me thirty years to really learn this. Be ye not so dim.

Double check that you’ve imported and backed up files before deleting images you “don’t think you’ll need”. Ooof.

Don’t eat the entire plate of poutine.

Always get a deposit.

Have a backup camera. Thankfully, I didn’t learn this first hand, I learned it by hanging out with a group of other photographers who told me horror stories of cameras failing as brides are set to walk down the aisle. Now I feel foolish for not doing this, so I coughed up the extra dough to have a spare on hand at all times.

“You do not have to be good.”