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One Billion Seconds Old

After one billion seconds, you get a few eye wrinkles to be proud of.

Today I’m turning one billion seconds old.

I first heard of the concept several years ago, and have secretly been looking forward to today since (I say secretly, because there is only so much weird you can wear on your sleeve before people start to worry and edge away.)

“Any excuse for a party” is pretty much my life motto, so I threw a co-celebration with my friend Adam – a mere six days my senior – at a bar around the corner from my house. It was low-key; we ordered pizzas and gave guests fabric Hawaiian leis as they arrived. I told the bar tenders to let anyone with a lei put their drinks on our tab, which they said worked out much better than everyone having to prove they were our guests over and over. It was also fun and festive to have everyone wearing a communal flourish.

My friends Kathryn and Ed gave me a bottle of sparkly nail polish. “One billion sparkles for one billion seconds!” they wrote on the card, and I’m getting a manicure today with it in small celebration. The paper crown I decided I needed is from Annie’s Blue Ribbon General Store in Park Slope, which had the added bonus of inspiring everyone in the bar to give me high fives.

Here Adam and I are at the end of the night. Ladies, he is single, and he cooks.

when do I turn one billion seconds old?

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