2013, A Dating Story “The Labrador”
In 2013, determined to “get out there”, I went on exactly 30 first dates. I didn’t set out to go on this many; it just sort of happened as I stumbled across interesting men while browsing the online dating site OKCupid. Most dates just consisted of coffee or a glass of wine and then parting ways forever, and the majority were unremarkable. A few produced friends, or lovers, or lovers that became friends. There are a handful of one-night stands, and one or two that were downright awful. These are the stories of some of them.
While walking to this date, a really cute guy got out of the subway and brushed past me.
“MMMm-hmmm!” I thought, checking out his butt. He looked vaguely familiar, and then I got excited. I dialed the number for “David”, my blind date of the evening, who I had only seen in his OKCupid photos. The guy with the cute butt ahead of me reached for his phone.
“Are you walking RIGHT in front of me?” I asked, and David turned around laughing. Score.
It was an amazing date; he was as smart and funny as he was cute. We walked the rest of the way to the bar together and chatted easily, and after two beers I was done drinking but didn’t want to leave, so we had impromptu dinner (I never plan dinner on a first date). I walked him home, and at his front door he gave me “the look”, and I knew, and then we kissed. And…
The kiss was awful.
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” said my girlfriend when we were rehashing. “I mean, you liked him.”
“Think of a Labrador retriever encountering a steak.” I said, and shuddered at the memory.
I figured, though, that amazing first dates are hard to come by, so I would see if I couldn’t offer a few words of encouragement for next time, except next time never happened. Maybe *I’m* the bad kisser, but he never called again, and didn’t answer my text. He checked my profile a few weeks later, and I saw he was now listed as living in California, which… why are you dating if you know you’re moving? I dunno. This City is weird. As one person I went on a date with put it, “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”