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How To Make Friends in Your 30’s

Someone on one of the Facebook groups I’m in asked a question: How do you make friends in your 30’s?

I have a lot of friends but I didn’t growing up because my parents homeschooled me through middle school, and by the time I was ready to go to high school I was pretty awkward. Now I’m… less so, although still a total quirk-ball, but I have a lot of friends anyhow. This was my answer:

Throw parties and invite people you want to get to know better. Be interesting. Show up to things that you get invited to, even if they’re inconvient. Bring wine. Comment on Facebook posts instead of just liking them. Ditto for Instagram. Remember birthdays and send notes instead of adding to the wall of Facebook posts. Better yet, take someone out for coffee, dessert, or a glass of wine for their birthday. Stick a candle in their cake when they aren’t looking. Be excellent to people. Give thoughtful advice, or shut up and give good hugs. Remember that everyone feels awkward a lot, and offer to be the person that makes it less awkward for them to get through the day. Usually this means agreeing that you won’t leave their side at a party [I fall flat on this sometimes, I’ll admit]. Remember that people rarely remember what you said, but the remember how you made them feel.


  1. Gavin St. Ours

    14 November 2015 at 12:49 am

    Damn. I lean a lot from you.

  2. Nicki

    14 November 2015 at 4:40 am

    This is an excellent answer and why you are an excellent friend. I also feel like this could be made into one of those inspirational card things. 🙂

  3. Jesse Bowline

    15 November 2015 at 1:48 am

    You are the LeBron James of having friends!

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