It Chooses You $14

There is a group of women just below “a certain age” who embrace Miranda July fiercely, not just because she is someone we look up to, but because she makes us feel so much less alone.

“Each listing was like a very brief newspaper article. News flash: someone in LA is selling a jacket. The jacket is leather. It is also large and black. The person thinks it is worth ten dollars. But the person is not very confident about that price, and is willing to consider other, lower prices. I wanted to know more things about what this leather-jacket person thought, how they were getting through the days, what they hoped, what they feared—but none of that information was listed. What was listed was the person’s phone number.”

photo by Kate Miss

A Clarisonic Mia, because it is luxurious and will make her skin vibrant and healthy without chemicals. She’ll appreciate this more than a one-time facial, because spas always make her feel just the tiniest bit awkward. $119

“Drink the Local Craft Beer” tee shirt, because she can throw back micro brews with the best of them and is proud of it. $25

A rad new case for her iPhone, because if she drops it one more time, it’s totally going to break. $35

An Instax Mini photo album in her favorite color, because all those little photos are starting to pile up. $17

“Me and You and the Dog” print, because that’s how y’all roll. (Can be customized to be “dogs”.) $38

Kiehl’s essential oil, because it’s a warm, sexy alternative to spritz-on perfume. (The cucumber and gardenia are both divine.) $26

A gift box of charming cookies and homemade marshmallows from Whimsy & Spice, because she has a sophisticated sweet tooth. $22

Your own love note, transcribed by Bryn of Paperfinger, because you should always add little touches of Mr. Darcy to your game. $200

A moissanite engagement ring, because shouldn’t you propose? She’s so great. $450

new stamps snapped with my iPhone

I’m pretty sure this has never been confessed on this blog before: you can add “stamp-collecting” to the frizzy hair, glasses, buck teeth, goofy personality and homeschooling that made me a social pariah as a kid.

I’ve stopped collecting, but getting a brand new sheet of postage is a still tiny thrill for me and I will never be the sort to buy a practical roll of boring flags. I try not to buy the same ones twice, and now that I own a business that involves mailing things on a regular basis, picking out a pretty combo of stamps for each package is my favorite part of paperwork.

On 22 January postage prices went up, and they released some particularly pretty designs this time around.

Did you know that rather than going to the post office, you can order stamps online and have any amount of them them sent directly to you for just $1 (in the mail, of course!) These above are my latest; I think the butterflies are really cool, and the clock reminds me of the cover of one of my favorite books, the Phantom Tollbooth.

I feel so dorky, but it’s genuinely exciting! Someone please tell me you like pretty stamps, too. I can’t be the only one.

Last week when I was in LA I hopped into the studio with one of my favorite podcasts, The Because Show which was RIDICULOUSLY EXCITING as I spend most of the time I’m listening to them in my headphones wishing that I could pipe in.

We talked about Life Lists, music, and loosing my religion; listen here. (A word to the faint of heart, there is NORMAL swearing, and both sex and orgasms are acknowledged somewhere in there, too.)

Thanks Susan, Jerilyn and Amy for having me! I’ll see you guys in New York soon, ok? We’ll get crack pie at Momofuku.

Valdobbiadene. Good luck pronouncing it.

Over the summer I helped throw an event and was tasked with picking a decent bottle of sparkling wine in the $15 range. I headed to my favorite wine shop where they quickly selected this as the best bottle for the money, declaring it better than a lot of bottles twice the price. They were right, and I’ve been buying it ever since, even though neither I, nor anyone I’ve spoken to, can say its name.

If you’re used to celebrating with champagne, try a good prosecco like this one. It’s lighter and is generally less alcoholic, it’s not too sweet or too dry, and it tastes like a celebration. Pairs well with vanilla cupcakes and excellent friends.

At $13 a bottle, I’ve declared it the Blatt’s “house bubbly for special occasions”, and we served it at midnight on New Years Eve. Have you tried prosecco?

Related: can you open a bottle of sparkling wine, or does the cork popping freak you out? I can do it, albeit quite nervously, but I have a lot of friends that simply cannot and pass the bottle off to me. If you’re not a really big resolution maker, “learn to open a bottle of prosecco” should be your 2012 task. (I stand behind any resolution that helps you party more.)

Once you can do that, try sabering it open with a big kitchen knife, Helen Jane style.

Happy weekend!

Here’s a not-so-secret: I love Meg Keene. She is one of the people instrumental in inspiring me to getting my business up and running in 2010, it is her hand that is among the ones I feel pressed into my shoulder blades when the business blahs hit, and I am completely in awe of her.

How do you thank a person like that? I don’t know, but when her book came out and everyone banded together to push it to the top of the best-seller list, I started by buying three copies.

Then she sent me two. One of them is mine-all-mine, but the other four are for you. Leave a comment below telling me your favorite part about going to weddings, and I’ll pick four winners at random on Monday 9 January.
Closed! Thank you guys for your comments!

***

Meg is on tour right now promoting the book with lots of fun events. The Brooklyn party, though, is going to be the best; I know because I’m planning it, along with Meg from La Vie En Rose Events and Michelle Edgemont. We have met over beers, volleyed countless emails between us, and schemed away.

The reading will be at the Park Slope Barnes & Noble on Saturday 28 January at 2pm. It is only by showing up there that you will be given walking directions to the most kick-ass, planned with love after-party in the history of book tours. It will be boozy and fantastic, and, from what I’ve seen from Michelle’s handiwork, very, very pretty.

**RSVP here**

See you there?

A well-designed pen, for jotting down notes for his next novel – or his grocery list. $18

The Areopress coffee maker, because she is a connoisseur of the brew. $26

A SodaStream starter kit, because he’s always in the kitchen making dinner from scratch, so why not the drinks, too? (P.S. I have it on good authority that, despite it saying ALL OVER to only carbonate water, it can carbonate gin.) $100

A promise to get that one print laying around her living room framed, finally. Because she’s not going to do it any time soon, and it’s starting to make you crazy every time you go over.

A giant calendar, smartly broken down into weeks instead of months, for keeping track of his looming book deadline. All the better to help him become the world-famous author that you are “totally friends with, no big deal”. $24

A massage, tip included, because she has a new baby, and really loves “the hot rock thing” that they do.

A sassy umbrella, because her reaction when people are awful to you is always an upbeat “Whatever! Fuck bitches!” and that makes you feel better every time. $45

Espresso-infused salt, because when no one else is looking, you will both sprinkle it onto expensive chocolate ice cream and share it. $10

A one-hour photo session with Brooklyn’s most cheerful photographer, because they’re overdue for family photos. $250 (What?! I gotta hustle!)

New Ray-Ban Wayfarers in classic black, since she loves the originals but they’re a little too big for her face. $119

A Kindle e-reader $109, loaded with the Kindle Single “Up the Down Volcano”, $2, because she’s a big fan of Sloane Crosley and they would, like, totally be friends if they ever met.

A Dodo case for her iPad with a pretty red lining, because she likes to watch movies on it while flopped on her stomach in bed. $60

Purple Chucks in “dude size seven”, preferably with a love note scrawled on the sole. $50

photo from flickr user kristen mckee

A new MacBook air, since every time she uses her old MacBook, the plug overheats and burns her knee, and that’s probably dangerous, so really, this is a gift based on SAFETY. And also, she’s been daydreaming about a laptop with all-flash storage since 2002. $1000

For her stocking:

Fuji Instax film, because she loves documenting her parties with credit-card sized photos of her friends having a good time. $16 per twin pack

A bottle of Crème Brûlée Imperial Milk Stout from the Southern Tier Brewing Company, because it’s her favorite desserty, guilty pleasure beer. $9

Tattlys with good messages, because she has a year-old business and could use the occasional reminders to both hustle and focus on the happy. $5 each for a set of two

Earbuds, because she lost hers AGAIN. This time it was the laundry that ate them. She always forgets to take them out of her pockets. about $10

Simple silver earrings, since she’s not REALLY an earring kind of girl, but would like something simple to have in her ears anyway. Plus, she really digs supporting small artists. $40

A beautiful enamel locket, which is a tiny bit “little girl”, but still very sweet and pretty. It’s fine, though; even though she walks around with business cards and tells everyone she’s an adult, you know better. You know. $98

A Kindle Fire, so he can read on the subway, play Angry Birds to zone out, and watch Rachel Maddow while washing the dishes. $200

fantastic photo courtesy of cnet.com

A Warby Parker glasses gift box, because they’re hip and affordable, and he likes to switch it up with his specs. $95

Vintage-looking Adidas, because they’re cool, and comfortable on his old-man feet. $48 – $60

A new mix for his Brooklyn Brewing kit, plus a note saying “for when I’m on vacation” because you hate seeing the kitchen all torn apart for brewing experiments but love the results. $15

A bottle of Root, because it’s his favorite, and he likes making tipsy, teary, heart-breakingly sincere toasts with it. $36

photo by me

For his stocking:

Extra elastics to have on hand, because that gorgeous flowing hair needs to get pulled back when he’s not rocking out (and when you’re dewin’ it). $3

A fun blinking bike light from BikeGlow, because he rides the streets of Brooklyn at night keeping the ladies of the borough safe. $25

A Pick Punch that turns old credit cards into guitar picks, since he’s always losing them anyway. $25

Kiehl’s Facial Fuel with SPF 15, because it smells sexy and protects him from skin cancer at the same time. And you want him around forever. $35

My smart, awesome friend Meg wrote a book.

Today is the day to pre-order it; we’re making an effort to push it to the top of the best-seller list. If you know someone who is getting married and is interested in creating a sane, thoughtful wedding day for themselves, you need to press this book into their hands. Katie Jane said it well: “I think this is probably the wedding book to change all wedding books.”

Go do it! (The image is a link.)

Forgive the cell phone shot – I’m kinda busy today!

Remember how two years ago I made six pies? The next next year I broke my own record and made nine the night before Thanksgiving, earning myself a spot in the The Recordsetter Book of World Records (on page 78).

Two hilarious dudes from Toronto teamed up that Christmas to beat my record with 14 (and they did it wearing Christmas Tree costumes!)

Now I’m seeking to reclaim the title this Thanksgiving, and am bringing *more than 14* to Greenpoint Church again. Thank goodness my neighbor said I could use his oven. Next year, I think I’m going to have to call for backup.

It’s going to be a wonderful holiday, I can feel it.

Happy Thanksgiving!