The summer is so hot; we are all so hot.

I’m left with two choices: the jet-engine noise of the air conditioner or sleeping in swampy, stuffy conditions. It sucks either way.

I slept at my grandmother’s house the other night, and it was one of the most terrifying nights of sleep ever. I had nightmare after nightmare, and didn’t fall asleep properly until 5:30 am. I don’t know why; I’ve slept there before just fine. Hell, I lived there for years not so long ago. But I’ve gotten used to sleeping with three dogs and Rob in the room with me, and it just wasn’t the same without the usual chorus of snoring, the large hairy arm flung over my face suddenly in the middle of the night, and the more-often-than-not sneaking into bed of certain small dogs who like to curl in the nooks of my body and snooze.

Speaking of certain dogs: the other day Leeloo was coming around the side of my desk while I was unhooking my camera from the USB cable attaching it to the computer. She caught it across her chest and pulled it from my hands, and it crashed and broke. Actually, the camera is fine but my favorite lens broke, hopelessly. I’d buy a new lens, but I’m weeks away from upgrading my camera to full-frame anyway, so that seems foolish. I’m now upgrading sooner than I thought, but not quite yet, so I’m currently camera-less. It seems that now the universe has put a number of Amazing Photographic Opportunities in my path. I’m sure they were all there before, too, I’m just feeling quite annoyed. But not at Leeloo. How could I be when she has a face like this:

Matty was walking around this morning shaking his head, and I sighed.

“Come here,” I said, “and let me see that ear!”

He trotted over and I lifted one up of his floppy ears to peer inside. It was too easy, so I went for the other one. He immediately tried to run away from me, and we got into a bit of a power struggle. Matty is extremely polite and mild-mannered, so rather than growling and snapping he headbutts and wiggles.

“Yeah, no, I really don’t like this… *headbutt*… so maybe you can *headbutt* stop now. Maybe? Please? *headbutt*” We both have headaches now.

When I finally got him in place by use of a sleeper hold, he went all gloomy and resigned and I was able to take a look.

Guh-ROSS! His ear canal is filled with dark maroon goo – an unholy mixture of dried blood and ear wax. Maybe some mite shit in there, if there are mites, which is likely. Oh, sorry, maybe you should put down the sandwich you were eating.

I cleaned it out with some witch hazel. Our old vet recommended this treatment before moving on to medications, a solution I like because it’s both better for the dog and better for my wallet. We’ll keep an eye on it for the next few days, and it seemed to help immediately, too, since he stopped fussing so much. Right now he’s sleeping off the trauma.

Poor buddy.

Rob and Tino, last night at midnight, just before bed. Our horrible, angry dog is now a hard-core snuggler. Win.

I also updated my photo blog with photos of my ridiculously hot friend Nina.

Have a nice weekend!

Nicole challenged me to find seven red things in my house and photograph them.

This is a cake topper from Bake it Pretty.*  Sadly, it has never actually topped a cake.

Here is Matty saying, “Howdy, Pard’ner!  Care to join me for nap?”

This is best little garlic chopping knife ever, and it’s only ten bucks!

This is a throw I got from a thrift store years ago for $4.  I will never tire of it.

This calendar is from Linda and Harriett.

In my house, even the shoes have dog hair on.

This is a telephone.

*I would like to note that Bake it Pretty didn’t send me this topper with the handle bars so messily glued – I made that mess myself.

Robitussin and Tylenol.  Doctors orders.

Watching the sun rise and set behind the curtain.  This is my straight-ahead view from bed, and even though it’s lovely (and those shadows of bars make it so-very-Brooklyn), I’m tired of it.  There’s only so much of mid-day bed lounging I can take before I feel like a slob.

Watching TiVoed episodes of Peoples Court.  Here, she’s saying one of her famous lines: “You know what we say in Spanish? ‘Ni tu mismo te lo crees.’ You know what that means? Not even you believe your own lies!”

Snobby tissues.  There are a lot of these.

Tea.  I was drinking chamomile but switched to orange when I started to come around.

Leeloo, my constant companion.  She is wonderful.

These past few days have been long. Really long. Epic. I’ve had the flu (swine or plain, I’m not sure. “It doesn’t matter,” I was told, “the treatment is the same.” But way deep down I wanted it to be swine flu so I could be bad-ass and trendy. So since I’ll never know: I have swine flu. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it).

I haven’t really left the bedroom, and I haven’t left the house since New Years Eve. The end result is that the rest of the house looks like a tornado hit it. “When you stop functioning, I do, too.” Rob said. No shit.
To be fair, he’s been doing a wonderful job taking care of me, and he makes a mean cup of chamomile tea. But the house is close to being declared a disaster area.

I’ve had amazing, vivid fever-dreams about all sorts of things: there was one in which I owned a giant pumpkin farm, another where I kept a collection of exotic big cats in an old mansion, and one where I went halfsies on an eggplant parm sandwich with President Obama. I wouldn’t normally mention them, but they feel so real.

Leeloo has been my near-constant companion. I think she’s worried about me. They’ve all been in and out of bed with me for the past few days, but Leeloo especially keeps peeking at me with luminous eyes, wondering if I’m ok.

I have a friend who is an MD, and we called him pretty late Saturday night for advice. He gave me a regimen to follow, and I’m starting to come around. Horray for kind doctor friends! Joey, if you ever need to start a podcast, call me. I owe you.

This photo of Tino NOT cooperating with a group photo makes me smile every time.

Last night Matty was curled in a ball in the spot I like to sleep in. When I came to bed, he moved, leaving a warm spot for me to cozy into. I think he knew I’d be really cold without Rob and without the heat kicking on, and wanted to help. Tino stayed on my feet, Leeloo snuggled around my knees, and Matty took his new position, snoozing down the length of my back.

My dogs rule.

Every morning in Prospect Park there are off-leash hours until 9 am. The chances of me actually seeing the world before 9 am are generally slim to none, but yesterday morning at five am I was staring at the ceiling wide awake and completely miserable. So I got up. I made myself coffee and quietly snuck Matty and Leeloo, their leashes and some poop bags out of the apartment.

Tino was sleeping, and I really didn’t want to deal with him, either. He’s horribly leash aggressive, and we aren’t sure what to do at this point about it. When he sees another dog he starts growling and barking and choking himself at the end of his leash, and it sounds horrible and scary. I know all he wants to do is play, but it’s hard to explain that to someone who has a tiny puppy on the end of their leash that’s cowering and piddling itself in fear. It’s something we’ve been working on, but we haven’t seen a lot of improvement in. If you have ideas for me, let me know.

Anyway, Matty and Leeloo, the dream team, headed out on their walk, and they were pretty jazzed just getting out there, seeing the sights and smelling the smells. I got to the meadow area of the park and unsnapped their leashes, and it was a few seconds before they both realized they were unteathered. Leeloo kind of jumped up and down a few times, and then looked at me like, “Really?!” and then she was off, gone, sprinting down the field, running for the pure joy of running. I never see her so happy as when she’s barreling at full speed. We’ll definitely have to go again.