Laura overhears a mother telling her little girl she can’t have a cookie because of her weight, and does something brave. I was on Twitter when this happened, and her reaction gave me goosebumps. I am so glad she made a full blog post about it.

“We all have our things. And we’re all missing things. And we should all be easier on ourselves and each other.”

Full story here

I’m toying with the idea of a memoir eventually, just for myself. Rather than scratch little memories in notebooks that will get lost, they’re going here.

When I was a freshman in college I needed a special dress for something. I was going to go to the mall to look when my mother stopped me.

“You should go to Syms instead,” she said. “They have better prices.”

“Ugh. I hate shopping at Syms. It’s crowded and messy, and the communal changing room freaks me out.”

(If you don’t know, Syms was department warehouse store where they got last-season retail branded clothes and sold them at large discounts. Every day was new inventory and the longer something sat, the lower its price was. The whole store was two overwhelming floors, each the size of a city block.)

“I think you a fool, Amber. You’re wasting money.”

“No.” I said, feeling a confidence that surprised me, “I don’t think it’s foolish. I think the shopping experience at the mall is worth the money.”

I still wondered if she was right – when your mother tells you you are something, you tend to believe it at least partially, even if it’s false – but I was pretty sure I knew what I was talking about. And I did. To this day I don’t shop in large, poorly organized stores looking for a bargain. It’s unnecessarily taxing on my soul and not worth the dollars saved.

This was the first time I consciously remember “knowing thyself.”

I danced to this in my jammies with Tino in the crook of my arm, pressed against my cheek. He is a wonderful, tiny dance partner.

Via The Because Show, because they’re cool.

Valdobbiadene. Good luck pronouncing it.

Over the summer I helped throw an event and was tasked with picking a decent bottle of sparkling wine in the $15 range. I headed to my favorite wine shop where they quickly selected this as the best bottle for the money, declaring it better than a lot of bottles twice the price. They were right, and I’ve been buying it ever since, even though neither I, nor anyone I’ve spoken to, can say its name.

If you’re used to celebrating with champagne, try a good prosecco like this one. It’s lighter and is generally less alcoholic, it’s not too sweet or too dry, and it tastes like a celebration. Pairs well with vanilla cupcakes and excellent friends.

At $13 a bottle, I’ve declared it the Blatt’s “house bubbly for special occasions”, and we served it at midnight on New Years Eve. Have you tried prosecco?

Related: can you open a bottle of sparkling wine, or does the cork popping freak you out? I can do it, albeit quite nervously, but I have a lot of friends that simply cannot and pass the bottle off to me. If you’re not a really big resolution maker, “learn to open a bottle of prosecco” should be your 2012 task. (I stand behind any resolution that helps you party more.)

Once you can do that, try sabering it open with a big kitchen knife, Helen Jane style.

Happy weekend!

Here’s a not-so-secret: I love Meg Keene. She is one of the people instrumental in inspiring me to getting my business up and running in 2010, it is her hand that is among the ones I feel pressed into my shoulder blades when the business blahs hit, and I am completely in awe of her.

How do you thank a person like that? I don’t know, but when her book came out and everyone banded together to push it to the top of the best-seller list, I started by buying three copies.

Then she sent me two. One of them is mine-all-mine, but the other four are for you. Leave a comment below telling me your favorite part about going to weddings, and I’ll pick four winners at random on Monday 9 January.
Closed! Thank you guys for your comments!

***

Meg is on tour right now promoting the book with lots of fun events. The Brooklyn party, though, is going to be the best; I know because I’m planning it, along with Meg from La Vie En Rose Events and Michelle Edgemont. We have met over beers, volleyed countless emails between us, and schemed away.

The reading will be at the Park Slope Barnes & Noble on Saturday 28 January at 2pm. It is only by showing up there that you will be given walking directions to the most kick-ass, planned with love after-party in the history of book tours. It will be boozy and fantastic, and, from what I’ve seen from Michelle’s handiwork, very, very pretty.

**RSVP here**

See you there?

So, how has your new year been thusly? Me? I jumped off a cliff.

Specifically, I rented a photography studio which felt scary and brave and very “jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down” a la Bradbury. (I might never forgive Gavin for sending me that quote a few months ago. It’s made me too brave.)

The “studio” is actually a tiny apartment near ours; it has more soul than a traditional office space and the location makes it ideal. I got the keys and locked myself in, looking around and figuring out what would go where, letting inspiration and possibility swirl around me. Eventually I wound up sprawled on the floor of the empty living room,  watching the sun slide across the hardwood floor in slanted patches. I was half-basking and half-waiting for “the adults” to come in and tell me to get out.

I chewed my lip.

The light hit the tip of my sneaker. I got calm. I freaked out. The light slid into my lap and touched my chin. I got calm again.

Now I am somewhere in between.

Have I bitten off more than I can chew or is this just the push I needed to inspire “business bigger“? I genuinely have no idea, but I feel blessed beyond measure that I have a life partner who cheers for me constantly, and that so many friends believe in me, too. The encouragement makes for some amazing wing glue.

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I’m a sucker for any song sung by a girl who dissolves the whole thing into a set of “do do do do”s.

Via Erica, who has amazing taste in music, too.

Read many books.

Go to lots of museum exhibits, concerts, festivals, cool stores, events, indie films, literary readings, and other interesting things in NYC. (Who’s with me? I will need dates.)

Work really, really hard.

Spend loads of time with family and friends.

Live healthfully and happily.

***

I was so excited last night when our “handful of friends” turned into about 20 people showing up to sit around our living room. I had started the party pretty sick, due to an allergic reaction to some medication earlier in the day that had me puking my brains out. By the time people arrived I was better, but still very queasy and under a pile of blankets in the corner of our couch, feeling mentally festive but physically down for the count. Still, I felt lucky to have Dan and Kim here – they stayed with us for a few days before heading back to China – and as our friends piled in and swirled around me celebrating, I felt SO loved.

It was the best New Years Eve ever.

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Here were my resolutions for 2011:

Acquire less stuff and more stories.

Nailed it. I hardly bought anything in comparison to years past. Every bauble or extra pair of high heels I admired in a store started to look like nothing more than a few dollars I couldn’t spend on plane tickets to somewhere there was a party. I very much like my priorities.

Work more, get more money, and give more money away.

Check-check-check. I’m not exactly bankrolling fancy dinners for a dozen of my nearest and dearest (yet!), but I made a nice living with my own two hands this year, and it has felt so. Fucking. Good. Bonus: I was able to help out cool organizations that do work I believe in.

Travel more. Hibernate less. Spend lots of Sundays at brunch and late nights in bars.

Yes! I have always struggled with wanting to stay home in my sweats rather than go out. It’s in my introvert nature to be curled up on the couch often, but that is essentially wasting life. Nothing interesting ever happened while sitting on the couch.

This year I did my first major international trip in years and was able to bring my grandma, which will forever be a highlight of my life.

This was also the year was the year I made a concentrated effort to say “yes” to things, even when I was tired or cranky. To eliminate excuses, I bought some comfy dresses that are easy throw on over leggings or tights and curated a few essential cosmetics that make “putting my face on” a less-than-five-minute process. Now the time between “shlumpy” and “dressed for dinner” is about 15 minutes, and I never have to say “no” to a last-minute invite.

There were lots of Sunday brunches, late nights in bars telling hilarious stories and making friends, and lots of travel, too, to excellent places. It was a conscious lifestyle change, and I am so much happier. High five for me.

Wear sparkly tops and inappropriate skirts. Do yoga. Keep living awesomely. Have adventures.

No, yes, no, and heck yes! I never did buy a sparkly top or do one single yoga pose. (Maybe 2012 is my year?) But I have a few borderline inappropriate skirts that come out when I’m feeling daring and flirty, I’ve lived awesomely, and oh my gosh. The adventures. I can’t even. So good.

How was your 2011? Was this year a good one? What are you hoping for in 2012?

Happy New Year, friends! Be safe.

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What I learned about the soulful, emotional part of doing business this year can fill a book, and, in the next five years or so, I hope that it actually will. I learned how to fearlessly say no, to smell when a client isn’t a good fit, to sense my way through a negotiation, stand up for what I really want, ask for what I need plainly, and manage expectations.

I learned to let the heck go. Of clutter, of unnecessary clothes, of outdated attitudes… of real estate.

The realization hit this year that I’m no longer “the girl who likes to bake”. She is a nice thing to be but is no longer ME. Now, though, I get to be the lady that will pick out the awesome beer to bring to your party, and my kitchen gets to stay tidy.

Despite thinking I’d be too shy, I learned how to ladies naked! And not only naked, comfortably so. For photos, I mean. So many gals I’ve photographed in their skimpy underwear (or less!) have said, “I thought I’d feel weird, but you made it fun!”  I plan on doing more of that. (No, gentlemen, I do not need an assistant.) I’m also good at making little kids giggle and grumpy dads smile for the camera. I have the best job.

I learned to focus inward more instead of worrying about making sure other people are ok first. Heather tweeted this just as I was putting the finishing touches on this post, and it fit so well:

Similarly, I learned to gather myself up a little, to take my too-wide circle of confidants and pull it inward to include only the friends that I can really press into when I am in need. (Miss Brit has an amazing post about this that I have carried in my heart for weeks now.) This has made all the difference.

And highlights of the year:

Paris – taking my grandma, watching my cousins light up with their first glimpses of the Eiffel Tower, and seeing Emily standing under it. Bill Cunningham taking my photo (and then my hand, to help me off a boat). Buying and painting my first major piece of grownup furniture. Mighty Camp. Ordering Taco Bell out of the back of a stretch hummer for a dozen giggly women. Marriage equality passing in New York State (and what it did for my business). Watching Rob react to news that I was pregnant. Meeting Jen and Micah’s new baby boy. Shooting a celebrity wedding, which I absolutely can’t tell you about, a fact that is killing me, darlings. You don’t even know. That thing that happened. Launching AmberMarlow.com