photo by nirus

I’m toying with the idea of a memoir eventually, just for myself. Rather than scratch little memories in notebooks that will get lost, they’re going here.

In first grade my teacher sent home a note reporting that, rather than do my schoolwork, I sat all day playing with a pencil shaving. On paper, it sounded so odd, but I remember turning that shaving over and over in my hand, admiring it, watching it flake apart, and it didn’t feel odd to me. It was interesting, and felt important. I was a Weird Kid; it is only now that I realize how cool I actually was, how the quirk that let me have deep appreciation for the tiny grooves in a flake of wood – a quirk that got me picked on mercilessly and concerned the adults in my life – has not only remained in some form 20+ years later, but actually served me well as an artist paid to focus on detail.

There was other stuff that made me weird, too: long conversations with the salamanders I found under rocks, poetry scrawled on my legs that I covered with my dresscode-mandated knee socks, and – the worst – songs that I made up for classmates to make them like me (that never actually worked.) So embarrassing! And yet… I still talk to the dogs all day every day. There are scraps of poems in a document on my iPad (I’ve upgraded a bit from my shins and ankles.) I still invent songs, although I’ve learned not to sing them to anyone older than a toddler.

It is fascinating how much we can change, grow, and still be much the same.

On a photo walk with Leslie in SoHo, she shot the buildings and I shot her shooting.

“I know you want to flambe. This will be very scary for me. I’m trying to find what looks like a dependable recipe. I’ve decided anyone who says ‘Walla!’ in place of ‘Voila!’ is not to be trusted.”

- Jen, in an email to me, discussing the details of our grand plan.

I’m not sure why I wanted to do a Baked Alaska; I didn’t know what a Baked Alaska even was when I added it to my Life List; there was only the vague notion that it was a dessert served with sparklers. I know why I wanted to make one with Jen, though: she is one of the coolest people in the world, and we have a long, successful history of  teaming up for large, ambitious projects (In 2002, we built an entertainment center from scratch after watching too many episodes of Trading Spaces. It was awesome.)

Jen made the foundation part of cake and ice cream earlier, and I whipped the egg whites for the meringue.

(She made my hair thing for me as a birthday present. It’s actually a necklace. This is my “sexy in the kitchen” face.)

Sparklers might have been prettier, but lighting 151 in a metal cup and then dumping it all over the thing was way more exciting.

At Micah‘s suggestion, we sliced it like a watermelon. There was some rum that escaped down the side of the meringue and got soaked up by the cake underneath without burning off first, so as you ate towards the edge, you got a few shocking, uber-boozy bites. This one was vanilla cake and chocolate ice cream; next time I’d like to try the reverse. If boozy vanilla cake was that good, chocolate cake soaking up 151 should be stellar.

“Walla!”

This song played in the series finale of Chuck, a show I watched all five years of religiously. It was so cheesy and dorky, but I loved every second.

Inspired by listening to Ryan Marshall and Jason Hudson talk at Blissdom, I started a tumblr account for Amber Marlow Photography. It is made up entirely of iPhone photos, specifically, all my favorites from my “theAmberShow” Instagram account. If you’re on tumblr, I’d love for you to follow along.

Happy weekend!

So many of the ladies at Blissdom marveled that I packed for the entire conference in a carry on, but I didn’t feel like I did without at all. I decided a blog post about what I wore was in order, to prove it’s totally possible to not check a bag when you travel, even for several days. My secret: roll that shit!

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1. This was the first night I arrived, Wednesday.

I flew in the knit dress and tank, and paired it with a hoodie (planes are cold), my trusty Chucks (good for booking it gate to gate for transfers) and thin navy colored corduroy pants (for warmth, and because I always opt out of the backscatter machines which means I get subjected to a pat down. Super awkward when you’re just in tights).

For dinner, I switched to a pretty cardigan, chunky necklace, cozy sweater tights and black flats. (I couldn’t do a damn thing with my hair.)

The dress is from a swap meet, tank from the Gap, tights from Target, flats from Charlotte Russe (here are similar vegan leather ones, and these vegan silk flats from Rocket Dog are stellar), cardigan from Naf Naf (my grandma bought it for me in Paris), and necklace from Target.

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2. Thursday was the first working day for Community Leaders but we weren’t in sessions yet, so I opted for something casual. This is quickly becoming my favorite top. Who says horizontal stripes are no good? (The trick is to make sure they’re wide stripes, I think.)

The sweater is from a swap meet, jeans are from Madewell (and they’re on sale!), and my good old Chucks, in classic black.

Giggle courtesy of my roommates, who asked what I was taking photos for and didn’t bat an eye when I told them it was for my website. Only at a blogging conference.

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3. Friday was the first official day of the conference. I wore something pretty, with colors I don’t probably wouldn’t attempt to rock in New York all together: black, pink and turquoise. I felt a little like Barbie. Later, I headed to a lounge where Ritani was sponsoring manicures. I opted for sparkly pink!

Dress is from Target, cardigan is from Old Navy, belt is from Express (here’s a similar one), tights are American Apparel and my shoes are Target.

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4. Second dress of the week, this one is a thick, structured cotton dress with pockets and a 1950′s-inspired flare. Jen picked it out for me on a shopping trip about eight months ago, and she was SO RIGHT. Thanks, friend!

After the day before, I couldn’t even LOOK at a pair of heels, so I slid on my boots. I was in Nashville, darn it! My sweatery tights and chunky orange necklace made their second appearance.

Dress from Old Navy, the tank is a man’s undershirt I bought in a package of three, necklace and tights from Target, and the boots from J.Crew (ages ago, before I had a problem buying leather shoes).

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I packed all of my underwear (bras, unders and tights) and jewelry in the calves of my boots and brought two pj sets (standard bottoms and tee shirts). I also brought a thinner weight blouse to travel home in that I wore with my jeans. I might have opted to just travel in jeans and  one of my pajama tee shirts (they fit me pretty well and are ok to be seen in public), but I was stopping in Baltimore to have brunch with Gavin and didn’t want to look like a slob.

I’m not an exceptionally creative clothing shopper, and there are no one-of-a-kind pieces in this post (and not many in my wardrobe). My style is pretty easy to copy. So, FREE YOURSELF of bag checking!

You put this on in just about any crowd and everyone will dance to it. Toddlers, grandmas, bored hipsters, tipsy lesbians… all of the people.

Five years ago tomorrow, Rob and I brought home a smelly, dirty, scared-out-of-her-mind dog from the Humane Society and named her Leeloo, after the Supreme Being in The Fifth Element. She sat forlornly in the living room for a long time. I talked to her and scratched her ears while Rob cleaned the car; she had puked her guts out on the ride all over the backseat. It was then that I took this photo.

She has come SUCH a long way (and gotten much chubbier!) I am so happy to have her; she is the sweetest dog I’ve ever met.

Happy weekend!

image source unknown

Thank you for all the love and support following my gross news. The decision I made years ago to blog openly and honestly about my whole life – not just the sunshiney bits – was not one made lightly, but oh! It was the right one. It’s tough to find a balance of what to share and what to keep under wraps, (my inclination was to keep it a secret for a while longer) and it’s difficult when people judge – harshly, some times! – what you do choose to share, but 99% of you have been absolutely lovely. Thank you thank you thank you.

Moments come where I will be feeling particularly sad and lonely, and just then yet another email pings in of another woman who has been there, and I feel fortified all over again.

We women are tremendously strong, aren’t we?

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I’m off to Blissdom in Nashville for four days as a photography Community Leader, where I will help other bloggers by leading discussions and answering all questions photo-related. It’s a very exciting opportunity, and I’m humbled to be a working part of this incredible conference. Are you going? Please come say hello. (Unofficially, I have declared myself Community Leader of “The Dougie“, and if you ask, I will teach you.)

While I was hanging at her house all weekend, I asked Tracy to pick a song. She picked Which Side Are You On which a million people have covered through the years. (She picked the Ani DiFranco version.)

One of my favorite things about Tracy is that she is passionate about creating the kind of world that she wants to live in through community activities. It’s easy to see a problem and shrug; Tracy rolls up her sleeves and does something. It’s very inspiring. (My other favorite thing about her is her killer dance moves.)

She chose it because “It’s an uplifting song that calls people into action for doing good, and it resonates with a lot of groups that I’ve been working with lately that focus not just on the charity work, but on justice issues.”

She told me about her involvement in the 99 Collective, a Christian-based group that is trying to create a church experience for young people who have been marginalized by the mainstream church. (Tracy loves Jesus, and working with young people, and is gay, so it’s pretty much “Tracy’s dream project”.) I would have loved that 15 years ago.

“Also,” she said, “it’s one of those songs that make me dance.”