When I was 13 my mother was really into going to Goodwill which always had a stack of romance novels – “bodice rippers” – in the book corner. They would automatically fall open to the juiciest parts, their spines broken open to paragraphs about “heaving bosoms”, “satiny love sheaths”, and “rigid manhood”. I would read them when I thought she wasn’t looking.

To celebrate turning 31 – the inverse of 13 – I hosted a “Heaving Bosom Birthday Party”. The local used bookstore was raided, and I came away with dozens of trashy romance novels. My friends were invited to flip through and find the  saucy parts to read out loud.

I surprised myself by being prudish! I was giggling uncontrollably almost the whole night, and had to bury my face in my hands a bunch of times. But it was awesome; even some of my generally shyer friends stepped up and read passages that made me blush, and it was hilarious and fun to be a little bit scandalized.

My good friend Eva Blue from Montreal happened to be in New York City over the weekend, and she took all of these amazing photos that show just how shocked I was! Eva, thank you for your photos – I’m so glad you were here. The entire set is on Flickr.

In one of the more “Oh, Brooklyn, you are so cute.” moments I’ve had in a while, I ordered this cake not from a form, but by walking from my apartment to the French patisserie down the street from me [Trois Pommes in Park Slope], calling the baker over, and having her join me in a brainstorming session.

We literally had a daydream about cake.

“No chocolate.” was my only rule (Patrice is allergic.) “Anything else is game.”

We ended up doing peanut butter cake with a peanut butter and raspberry jam filling and cream cheese frosting. It was childhood and love in cake form, and there’s a huge hunk of it left in my fridge because it was so rich my friends all tapped out after one piece. Wimps!

Happy weekend.

Every year, you guys.

30 here
29 here
28 here
27 here
26 here
25 here

You guys! This week it is my birthday. I made a mix of 31 tracks that I plan to jam to on March 13. Enjoy.

Listen here.

feb. 1 – a dessert fork (on top), shown with a regular dinner fork, as requested by miss tracey nolan

feb. 3 – a little stinker who wiggled last second and got my photo all blurry! i love it anyway.

feb. 5 – happy birthday, biana! we got a teeny chocolate cake at trois pommes patisserie in park slope, brooklyn.

feb. 5 – happy birthday, patrice! cake? nope. that’s a candle stuck in a strawberry, perched on the edge of a glass of processo.

feb. 6 – i’ve started incorporating late afternoon naps into my work day. it’s made me fitter, happier, and more productive. sometimes i watch tv on my laptop, though.

feb. 7 – laundry day. i usually have it washed by a service, but once a month, i do my top blanket myself to avoid a $7 surcharge.

{Keen observers will note that I skipped Saturday and Monday, and then took two photos on Tuesday, and thus cheated. Keen observers can suck it.}

This past weekend was pretty much the best ever.

Friday was opening day at the brand spanking new Yankee Stadium, and I was there! Our family has eight seats this season: really good ones by third base and really frigging amazing ones behind home-plate, in a section that has nice squishy comfy seats and waiter service.

photo by Rob… obviously!

Rob’s sister and family took the really good seats and me, Rob, his brother and Carissa took the “merely awesome” seats, and during the second half of the game we snuck into the squishy seats because the stadium wasn’t full.

Saturday was Carissa’s birthday, and we went bowling (I got the worst score in the group of 11 that were playing: a 66. It’s time for some practice. I found, though, that I do better when I “granny bowl”, which is using both hands, swinging the ball a few times between your knees and then launching it gently down the lane. This is a technique I developed when I was little and my hand was too small for the bowling ball’s finger holes. Using this method on Saturday got me laughed at, but it made me a better bowler so I didn’t care.)

“happy face, sad face, scary face, surprised face!”

After bowling we went to a bar that had a taco truck in the back and a photobooth inside, and boy oh man, do I ever love tacos and photobooths.

Then we went to see Bishop Allen, which was so, so awesome.

I bought their new album called “Grrr” after the show; it is fantastic. Of course.

Sunday I went to Coney Island and interviewed the creative director of the museum for Hey Brooklyn.  Rob and I walked around after that, and I snapped a photos.  This is something I haven’t done in too long.  We had gone last week and it wasn’t open, so there were only a few people straggling around.  This week was the first open weekend, and everyone was out basking in the sun.  If you haven’t gone, you should.  It’s an experience.

Sunday night Stu! came over for tea and cheese. She sat while I cleaned the kitchen. Having her there to chat with while I bustled around made me WAY productive, and I managed to achieve what Rob and I call “Dish Zero”: a state in which all the dirty dishes are cleaned. That almost never happens around here.

Monday we went to opening day at the Oriole’s park in Baltimore with our friend Gavin.  He is Rob’s co-host for Put It In Your Ears, and I suggest you not listen if you are easily offended by immature humor.  We went to Hooters after, which was amusing to say the least.

The warm weather has given me “get up and go”ituide. Rob said it’s like he has his wife back, which made me sad. I know the winter was hard for him, because I went for days on end absolutely refusing to leave the apartment because of the cold, and that made us both miserable.

It’s good to be back.

Yahoo! It’s up! Go listen! Most exciting birthday ever! This might even beat my 9th birthday, when the weather was so freakishly warm that my parents took me and Gus out for hot dogs on the beach to celebrate AND my 11th, better known as the blizzard of ’93, which I spent watching TV all day combined.

edit: err… um… guess I should have posted a link. HeyBrooklyn.com

My grandmother gave me a card for my birthday with a $50 tucked inside, and this charmed me. I was never excited about cash for gifts when I was in my late teens and early twenties because I felt a Responsibility To Spend It Wisely, and it kind of bummed me out. There would be something I’d want, but I knew I had car insurance due, and it never occurred to run up a line of credit (thank God). I’ve never been in debt, and I’m proud of that, but I also never spent my birthday money on something fun. I did this year, though. I ordered the yellow Bayan Hippo bag that I blogged about two days ago, and I have fifteen dollars left. I put it towards this, which is a little more expensive than $15, but it’s something I really want.

You may recall it being mentioned in my 2008 gift guide, under the section “For the Ladies to Wear”. I described it as “Hands down… my favorite item of all of gift guides.” Since then I’ve mentioned it to Rob about four times a month. I’ve also sent him the link randomly over IM in the middle of the day, and once, in video chat room with our friends, I showed everyone the link and said, “This is a really great necklace and I really like it and I hope that Rob buys it for me.” I would often pull it up on my laptop while we were side-by-side on the couch, elbow him, and say, “This is gorgeous! I want it.” We even got into an argument once, where he said, “If you want something, you shouldn’t hint at it!  You should just say it!” and I was all, “Fine! FINE! I WANT YOU TO BUY ME THIS FUCKING NECKLACE!” He didn’t.

Today, I gave up and started to buy it myself, and as I was clicking, Rob wandered down from his lair office to take a break from editing audio.

“Look!” I said, all sassy “I’m buying this for my damn self!”

He squinted at the screen. “What is it?”

“The necklace.” I figured that was all the explanation he needed sledgehammering him with hints for so long.

“Which necklace?” he asked. “Can I see?”

He clicked to the bigger picture and shrugged. “Hmm.  I’ve never seen this before.  It’s nice.”

He’s dead now.

“Total eye candy.”
Bake it Pretty has a fantastic assortment of cupcake papers, vintage toppers and birthday candles, and a huge variety of sprinkles, sugars and “jimmies”.  I’m really like the photography, too. It’s professional looking and I can imagine that all of the tiny-scale photo shoots were a really fun time. It makes the store fun to browse.  The best part about this online shop, though, is the prices.  I’ve been noticing a lot of these specialty baking stores popping up around the interwebs (the designer cupcake papers are getting huge!) and decided to do some comparison shopping.  Trust me, if you want something special, buy it here.

This quirky cake topper was my favorite cake out of the bunch, so I bought it.  I’m excited to have it peddling around the top of my birthday cake!  Woo hoo!

Visit her on etsy or at bakeitpretty.com

{p.s. If you call after you’ve placed your order in a bit of a panic because you’re spacey and forgot to change your address with PayPal, so your package is going to be sent to the WRONG address, she’s REALLY nice about changing it for you. Ahem.}

Shortly after Halloween, Rob and I were in Target. We swung by the clearance section to see if there was anything worth scooping up, and boy oh man, was there ever. I scored eleven boxes of Halloween funfetti cake mix for 40 cents a box. Coolness upon cool, the sprinkles, or “funfetti”, are packaged in their own little foil container, and the main package is plain white cake mix, so if you’re making cupcakes for something other than Halloween, you can have plain.

I used that mix and some vanilla frosting to make Jen’s birthday cupcakes. Since the cupcakes I made for her birthday last year were so chocolaty and rich, I made these light, airy and sweet. The bears are Teddy Grams from 100-Calorie packages. Normal Teddy Grams are bigger and thicker, and would work well on a cake, but these are tiny and cute, about 3/4 of an inch tall, and just right for posing on cupcakes.

The hearts are purple Necco conversation hearts stuck on backwards. Grandma and I ripped open a bunch of little boxes and picked out all of the purple ones. I made the sign earlier in the day out of a cut-out square of poster board, with a strand of uncooked spaghetti taped to the back of it for the stick. Silver candles completed the look.

So fun!