At a recent party, I heard the story of a guy who had a secret word. When someone eventually said that word in his presence, he had to stop everything and buy a pizza for whoever was around.

Now I have a secret word, too.  No hints.

“If pizza is like sex, this pizza is like sex where you hit your head on the bed frame and get an elbow in your eye. Then he goes soft and falls asleep, the condom breaks, and you get herpes.”

I can’t remember the pizza, writing the note, or why I felt inspired to record this moment of a really bad food choice. This is probably a good thing.